HAPPY NEW YEAR

Good morning everyone.

I thank God for waking me up today.
I also give thanks for the guidance and love that he provides and for seeing me for who I am and not for who I thought I was. I realize that all things are possible through him and that I truly gain my strength from the faith and trust that I have in him.

Today is the last day of the year. My year in review has been a mixture of triumph and of struggle. I have had a year of learning and of change.

I am learning that I have no control over others actions I only have control over how I react to those actions. I am learning how to live in the moment. To take one day at a time and not to try to rush and manipulate outcomes. I am learning how to live life on its terms and not on my terms, that I am not the Big Willie that I have always pretended to be. The world does not revolve around me and I am NOT always right. I have learned many valuable lessons this year too many to mention but you get the gist of what I am trying to say.

Humility is a very valuable to my life and I am practicing applying it daily. I also need to say that being of service to others is something that I will also practice more of. I am learning to not think about myself and my wants all the time but to think of others and try to put myself in their shoes.

I am grateful for the many lessons that I have learned in 2013 and will continue to learn. The difference is I will apply what I am learning and not repeat the same mistakes. I have made some major changes this year and I will continue to do so in order for me to grow mentally, physically and spiritually.

I am truly in a good place right now my spirit is being fed and I like it. I have a positive attitude and my network is very supportive and I am making more new positive connections (friends) every day. I am thankful and ever so grateful for the blessings that I am receiving. Life is happening and it is all new and amazing.

I want to wish everyone a very Happy, Healthy,  Safe and Prosperous New Year. Peace and Blessings

Eric Ease
2013

GRATITUDE

Good morning

I have GRATITUDE in my attitude today for the blessings I have received. I am practicing acceptance of who I am today. Who I was yesterday and who I am willing to become. I thank God the higher power of my understanding for all he has done for me. I know that none of this would be possible without him.

I am thankful that today I can see change in my life and can accept the fact that its gradually happening and I am satisfied with my progress. I know that instant gratification can only lead to destruction.  Just for Today I am willing to Give Time, Time. This is not a race and I am in competition with no one.

I am thankful that I have another sponsor. That I have been given another opportunity to be guided in this process and this time I will take full advantage of it. I will be open to suggestions and willing to let people help me. This is a big step for me because I lack trust in people but change begins and ends with me.

I am grateful that just for today I can be there for people.  I can show up when someone is in need. I am learning how to be a real friend and it feels great to be responsible to others as well as becoming responsible to myself. Just for today I am willing to accept this responsibility.

Peace and blessings.

Eric Ease

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

Good evening everyone

I always start my day thanking God for waking me and then reading some scriptures and then the Just For Today and the corresponding page in the basic text.

I am learning how to get through my feelings without using. Today I choose to use the tools I have picked up along the way in my short time in recovery. Today I choose to use my sponsor instead of trying to do it alone. I am grateful for my first sponsor who I have learned a few things from even though I didn’t utilize his experience the way I should have. I didn’t realize how closed minded I was. I thought I had surrendered and was open minded and willing but it was my diease tricking me into believing the lies. I am grateful for the seed he planted.

I have been given a assignment by my new sponsor.  It was suggested that I pick a slogan and at the end of the week we will discuss how it was applied to my life. This week I chose This Too Shall Pass. I chose this slogan as a reminder that any and all feelings that I will experience will eventually pass and that as long as I do not feed the monster it will eventually subside. If its persistent call someone to help me get past it
(I still need to work on the calling part). I just continue to tell myself this too shall pass and say a prayer, the Serenity Prayer.

I feel a sense of gratitude today that I haven’t felt since my first days in NA back in 2011. It feels good to finally be back on track and following the suggested guidelines.

Thank the God of my understanding for guiding me back.

REVEAL THE REAL

Good evening everyone

I am starting to form the habit of thanking the God of my understanding for everything. I am also starting to pray during the day and not just in the morning and evening. I am trying to establish a solid foundation with my higher power.

Iam also starting to share my feelings and thoughts not just the surface stuff but gut level and as honest as I can. Honesty is not easy for me being a liar all my life but I am making a effort and that’s a start.

I have heard it said that if I want what the experienced members have I have to do what the experienced members do. So I have been modeling my recovery after a few members who’s recovery I admire. I am feeling confident that as long as I follow the few simple guidelines of the fellowship that I too can recover. I am willing to do the work necessary.

I am working towards another 90/90 and I have 37 days back in the process. Gratitude is felt whenever I make meetings because I know it didn’t have to be this way. I keep that fact up front. I hear the stories every day of people who do not make it back. Just for today I do not want to be one of them. I am thankful for the people who stood by me and continue to support me in my efforts at staying clean.

I finally understand what they mean when they say you are only as sick as your secrets. And that you should have at least one person that you can feel comfortable enough with to reveal the real you. I am building relationships today and have such a person in my network.  For this I am truly grateful.

Thank you for letting me share and thank you for being on this journey with me.

Peace and Blessings

Eric
Ease