Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
I am grateful that they have marathon meetings on Thanksgiving because I had nowhere else to go.
I am forced to take a long hard look at myself and the life I’ve lived. I have caused more harm than good. I have been selfish and self centered the majority of my life. I am forced to sit here alone and deal with the feelings of loneliness. I am saddened at the outcome that is my life.
Although the above statement is true I know that its not too late to turn things around. I have been given a second chance at life. I have taken this opportunity for granted many times because I still wanted to do things my way and would not surrender to the fact that my life is unmanageable. I still held the belief that I could control the outcomes and manipulate situations to my benefit. Its that thinking that has led me time and time again to using.
I thank the God of my understanding for another chance to change and I am taking it seriously. I know that I am not in control. I know that doing things my way leads to disaster. I know that I cannot do this alone. I know that I have to do the work and learn to take suggestions as just that a suggestion. I know that people are not trying to hurt me when they make suggestions. I know that I have to take a leap of faith and trust the people who have been there and done that. I know its not all about me and that I need to get involved because I am only going to get out of recovery what I put into it.
I finally feel like I am ready to do what is necessary to maintain and progress in this process. I know that its not a race and this is my process and it will happen in God’s time not my own and I am willing to take it one day at a time.
This has been and will continue to be a learning experience. I feel excited and I have faith that as long as I follow this way I have nothing to fear.
My actions will speak for me.
Peace and Blessings