Good evening family. I thank God for waking me and guiding me today.

Today I wish all of you a happy fathers day. I am grateful to my father for all the things I have learned from him. I sometimes find myself wishing I had listened more and tried a little harder. I know that what’s done is done but that doesn’t stop the thoughts and feelings.

I miss my father. I was teetering between clean and using when he passed away but after he died I gave up and used for a long time. I lost a lot in the process and have been struggling ever since. I’ve never really grieved his death and gotten closure. I still cry whenever I think of him and I am crying now as I type this.

I wish things were different,  I wish I never used drugs, dropped out of school or ever been to jails, institutions and spiritual death but that is not my reality. I cannot change the past but I can have a better future. I can change my attitudes and behaviors so as to not continue the viscous cycle that has been my life for so so long.

Today I will get off the pity pot. Today is a new day and I will begin by doing new things. I thank you all for reading my blog and sharing my journey.


Peace and blessings.

Eric aka NAM

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