I thank my higher power God for everything today. Good or bad. I am clean and it doesn’t have to be this way.
I hope that at the time you are reading this that everything is great in your life. If its not hang in there things will get better.
Dont pick up.
That was the first thing anyone ever suggested to me. I couldnt understand such a simple suggestion. I could not imagine life without using. Don’t pick up ha what is he crazy. Thats what I thought when I first heard it. I have used some kind of mind or mood altering substance ever since I was in the 5th grade in public school. At first it was experimental, then it was to fit in, then it was for fun, then it became habit and in the end I had no choice. I couldn’t stop.
I used drugs 3 quarters of my life. It was suggested that I not mess with drugs by teacher’s, my parents and even by addicts that where already hooked way back when. I never listened to any of them and I paid a hefty price. Some of you know my story if you don’t read past post. I wont go into details here but in the end life was anything but wonderful.
Drugs and my attitudes and behaviors have made my existence a living nightmare. A nightmare from which there was no escape. That is until God led me back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. In the beginning I came in with that same street mentality that kept me stuck in addiction in the first place and as a direct result I continued to run back out the door to get high.
What was it about me that kept me from experiencing the freedom I see so many other addicts experience? It was my thinking..After finally realizing that I couldn’t use and win I finally surrendered and came to accept the fact that I can no longer use drugs. That there is no successful way to use. I gave up trying and decided to pay attention.
I have taken the suggestions that I have been hearing and already knew and started applying them to my life. Make 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, get numbers, talk about your feelings and of course don’t pick up. Who would’ve thought that just by taking a few simple suggestions that my life would become so much better.
I am learning to listen to others which for me is huge. I am reading the literature and working steps. I make meetings. I make meetings. I make meetings. When I dont feel like making a meeting. I make meetings. Staying connected has proven to be the key to my recovery.
It was suggested to me a long time ago but I didnt listen.
Today I do.
Peace and blessings.