Good morning and God bless you.
Today I am grateful for I am clean. It didn’t have to be this way but my higher power God saw fit to give me yet another opportunity to get my life together.
I have been struggling with staying clean and I’ve come to realize that I made recovering harder than it needed to be. I would pick and choose what suggestions I would take, I wouldn’t read the literature or do any step work. I would skip meetings because of work or any other excuse I could find not to go. I would not call my sponsor or anyone who could help me through the tough times. I wasn’t as open minded as I would have everyone think. Dishonesty was still a factor and I paid the price for all of those things by returning to active addiction time and time again.
Today is different. I have a new outlook on my recovery. Yes my recovery. I no longer look outside myself at everyone else to solve my issues. I am learning to take responsibility for my actions and responses. I am focusing on putting my recovery first and making my life revolve around my recovery. After all I am responsible for my own recovery no one else. I have been making meetings regularly and doing my step 1 work. I have been reading the literature and reaching out to people. I have been consistent and it is paying off.
I am by no means saying that I changed all of this on my own. I am no fool. I know that it is through the grace of God that I have found the strength and courage to endure. I am grateful to have a second (5th) chance to turn my life around. I will continue to live his will for me one day or hour or minute at a time. I pray for guidance and take my time waiting for it. I no longer rush through things…Well I am practicing not rushing through things, and it is working with the help of God, the fellowship and my network.
I continue to practice doing the right thing. I am happier today than I have been in a long time. I believe now that I can recover as long as I follow the simple guidelines laid out in the program of NA. I am in a fight for my life for the rest of my life. I am willing to do what ever it takes to go the distance.
Today is the beginning of a new and better life and for this I am grateful.
Peace and blessings