CONTINUOUS SURRENDER


Good morning and God bless you.

God grant me the serenity. Those 5 words are my daily prayer. Of course the whole serenity prayer is powerful in itself but the first 5 words I repeat so often throughout the day that it has become my favorite verse.

Today I am learning so much about my disease of addiction. It’s amazing how much I thought I knew and come to realize that I don’t. Addiction is tricky and I know that the minute I think I got a handle on it is when my addiction reminds me that I will NEVER have a handle on this. Control is something that in active addiction I always had to have. Or at least thought I had. In recovery I am learning to surrender those feelings and thoughts of always wanting to control situations. I am learning there are people, places and things that are going to happen that I cannot control and I am learning to be at peace with that. Who woulda thought that would ever be possible.

Now don’t get me wrong. I said I am LEARNING, not I have learned. Lol there are still times when I want my way or the highway. Times when I feel like I know it all and you can’t tell me nothing. Times when I want to prove that I’m right and you are wrong. That’s when I try to remember to pray…

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY.

Today thanks to God my Higher Power, the fellowship, my sponsor and all the good people I have met in and out of recovery I am learning. I am changing. I am believing and achieving. My process has been a slow one and that’s ok because I have learned we recover at different rates and this is not a race its a life long process. It’s a life long learning experience. I had my UPS and my DOWNS probably more than anyone else, and there are those who try to knock me because I have relapsed several times saying I don’t really want recovery, or I’m not ready. Well to you I say Thank you for sharing.

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY.

Don’t judge me until you take time and talk to me.

Surrender is not easy for me but I am learning that it is necessary if I am to succeed. I have also learned that surrender happens continuously throughout the day. It’s not a one time thing you just say and it happens. Surrender take practice and I am learning, practicing and will continue to until it becomes a habit like the ones I am trying to break.

Peace and Blessings

NAM

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