Hello and God Bless You
Well the weekend is over and it was a successful one. As you already know I am back from a relapse. It was a jarring experience to say the least. I have been struggling back and forth for a couple of weeks not being able to add more than 3 consecutive days at a time. I was procraatinating and bullshitting myself and 8 days ago finally said enough is enough and made it back to the rooms of NA. I have been making a meeting everyday since.
My biggest problem is my thinking. I’ve been a liar for so long that I tend to believe the BS that I tell myself. I have been practicing honesty this week. Sharing my true feelings. I have also been taking a honest look at myself. Monitoring my attitudes and behaviors. I know that this time has to be different, I have to do different things in order to achieve different results. I look forward to the challenge.
I know that the change I seek is attainable with the help of my higher power God. I know that my thinking got me into this mess so the change has to begin there with my thought process. Nothing good ever happens over night so I will remember this is a process and not a race. I know that I never have to use again no matter what happens as long as I stay connected to my HP, NA and follow the suggestions and stop thinking I know everything and that I can do this alone.
I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE.
So when I think I can I know I am in trouble and I need to reach out and let others in to help me. My best friend in the world MOCA reminded me of this yesterday. I am ready to try to let people in. I have been a prisoner of my own mind long enough.
NO MORE PAYING THE HIGH PRICE..
FOR LOW LIVING.
Peace and Blessings.