Hello and God Bless You.
I have nothing left to say. I have made excuse after excuse, procrastinated, stalled and any other word you can think of to describe my lack of getting back to the rooms. All the while my life continues to spiral out of control.
I am suffering physically, mentally and have become spiritually bankrupt. I have nothing left to do but continue on this journey to hell or seek the help, support and unconditional love I know exist in the fellowship.
My thoughts are to just give up, quit trying and use until I die. Afterall I can’t get it right so why bother. My thoughts tell me all kinds of things most of them negative and I am so used to being a screw up that I begin to believe those thoughts. Then on the other hand some positive thoughts pop in my head and I get a glimmer of hope, I begin to think that I can do this, I can change, I can become a productive member of society.
But lately those thoughts are few and far apart.
Today is one of those days I have a glimmer sparking in my mind and this time I am going to take advantage of it. Act on it. Get off my lazy behind and do something about it. I am starting to feel like my time is running out. If I don’t change this soon I will give up and be lost forever.
I thinks its time to put up or shut up.
So I ask myself this question:
Am I ready to
Do or Die.