Hello and God Bless You.

I have been living a double life. Addiction has me living like Dr. Jykle and Mr. Hyde. I am truly sick and tired of living like this (If you can call this living). I admit once again that I am powerless over my addiction and my life has become once again unmanageable.

On one hand I want to stop using and I know what steps to take to make that a reality. On the other hand I don’t know how to live clean (I have used for over 36 years) and that keeps me returning to the familiar even though the familiar is killing me.

Fear of change, procrastination, dishonesty, lack of faith and inconsistency keep me stuck in the patterns of insanity. I have to stop lying to myself and putting off till tomorrow what I should be doing today and everyday..Making Meetings.

I know what needs to be done and it has to be done now. No more putting it off. Tomorrow is not promised so saying I will do it tomorrow has to become reality and not just words I say to make myself feel better. Time to get back to basic training afterall meeting makers make it. So time to start making meetings again. Time to be about it and not just talk about it.

Peace and Blessings.

NAM