Hello and God Bless You.
I will start off by saying. Damn. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I seem to be punishing myself and its really pathetic. I know what I need to do and keep putting it off as if by some magical way things are going to change without me actually putting in the work necessary for change to happen.
I am a procrastinator to the fullest extent. I keep saying tomorrow will be different and its not. I know what needs to be done. I will be all gun ho for a couple of days and then slip right back. I cannot get past that 3rd day. I have to stop deceiving myself and stop worrying about what others will think about me when I come back and say I have 1 day back. I always care more about what other people think about me more than what I think about me so I continue to suffer and be miserable.
I hate my life right now. I am struggling and its not necessary. I am making this a lot harder than it has to be. You would think that I like living this way because I keep doing the same things expecting different results. I know what needs to be done and I need to stop BSing and do it.
I really want to change and find a better way. I have to replace this tired old habit with new ones. It’s crazy but I really have no idea how to live different. I want to learn how to live. I want to learn how to ask for help. I want to change.
Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
Peace and blessings