5 MONTHS 7 DAYS
We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so we can live today.
Basic Text, p. 29
Just for today:
When I discover a resentment, Ill see it for what it is and let it go.
Hello welcome to The Struggle.
Resentment is a main cause for relapse in my life. Constantly revisiting the past hurts, pains and holding on to past grudges has caused more harm than I could ever imagine. Coming into recovery I didn’t understand what resentment was and sometimes to this day I still don’t fully understand all the aspects and multi layers of resentment. I do know that it is unhealthy. The longer I stay in touch with my life in recovery, the more I uncover.
I am slowly forgiving others but mainly myself because the more I look at my past the more I realize most of the resentments I hold against others was really not their fault it was my own. I have been blaming others for the majority of my life and I am starting to take responsibility for my actions and it is helping me to clear up all the confusion and release the misguided resentment.
I am learning so many things about my disease and my life that I feel like a child again sometimes. It a new beginning and I am glad its about progress and not perfection and that its a process and not a race. I am learning and changing at my own pace. Today I don’t feel pressured to keep up with The Jones’s. It is such a relief to be able to live and not try to impress everyone all the Damn time. (Although I do still struggle with it at times. I still have a need to be liked.) But I am working to release my resentments and keep my ego in check. Progress not perfection.
Thanks for reading Today’s blog post. God bless you NAM