90 IN 90

90 DAYS CLEAN

When we refuse to accept the reality of today, we are denying faith in our Higher Power. This can only bring more suffering.
IP No. 8, Just for Today

Just for today:
I will demonstrate my trust in God by experiencing this day just as it is.

Hello and God Bless You.

Today I make 90 days clean. I feel great but I am not excited. I say that because this is my 2nd 90 days. I do not wish to get off track and lose focus. I am grateful to God for guiding me in this journey and I am grateful to my network for all the support. I have faith that I can continue with this journey but I can’t seem to help but be concerned about relapsing. I am at a point where I am starting to feel less motivated about making meetings and reading literature and doing step work. I have been feeling a bit distracted lately and I know this is not good. I know this is a warning sign. I get these feelings and next thing you know I stop making meetings and before long those negative voices start feeding me the bullshit.

Having had this spiritual awakening and knowing what I should do is just the opposite of what I am feeling. You would think I would feel better but I don’t. I am feeling a funk this morning and I just wanted to share this with everyone. I know this is just a feeling and I know it will pass. I know today that I do not have to medicate myself everytime I go through uncomfortable feelings. I owe this knowledge to God and the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous and all the wonderful people I have met on this journey. I am grateful to be able to recognize these signs today and have the tools to deal with them instead of using.

One of the tools I use is this blog. As I sit here on this train typing I am beginning to feel better already. Whenever I write my blog I begin to feel lighter my spirit seems to get lifted. I love writing my blog and sharing my feelings and my thoughts. It is my self therapy and it works wonders for me at times. I don’t always get feedback and I don’t have a large following like some of the other blogs that I follow but that’s not why I write this blog. I am grateful for the people who do read it and for the feedback that I do receive it also helps me.

Just for today I will remember to be grateful for the time that I have and I will remember to live in the moment. I should not allow my thoughts to get ahead of me. Thinking into a future and projecting outcomes of things that haven’t happened yet is a character defect I am working on ridding myself of. At least for today. One day at a time my life is getting better. I have to remain in the present moment and be grateful for the experiences of today.

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

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Peace and Blessings

NAM