We regretted the past, dreaded the future, and weren’t too thrilled about the present.
Basic Text, p. 7
Just for today:
When I live fully in each moment, I open myself to joys that might otherwise escape me. If I am having trouble, I will ask a loving God for help.
Hello and God Bless You.
I am learning to live in the moment. I realize that there are times that I am either living in the past or thinking too much about the future. When I am living in the past I tend to lose sight of all the progress that I am making and have already made up to this point in my recovery. I begin to regress and start getting those old too familiarly feelings of self pity, worthlessness, helplessness and low self esteem. Before long I would be depressed and feeling like giving up.
When I am living in the future I have a very bad habit of predicting doom. No matter what the vision or dream or thought is the outcome is always disastrous. I cannot think about the future too long without whatever good that is happening turning into some kind of tragedy. I find myself waking up sometimes in the middle of the night sweating because of a dream of relapse, jail, death or some other bad thing happening. It is not a good thing either way.
I try very hard to stay in the here and now. It can be difficult at times but I do not get frustrated when I find myself drifting because I know that this is new territory for me and it is a process. I used to expect change to happen over night and then get upset when I didn’t see any progress. Not anymore I have finally accepted the fact that I am a addict with a disease that has no known cure but can however be arrested and recovery is indeed possible. I have been doing the same things over and over for so long I would have to truly be insane to think that change is going to happen just because I try it once or twice. It takes work and it is work that I am more than willing to do. I am a work in progress and I am making progress. I love myself just for today. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring but I will find out when tomorrow gets here.
So just for today I will give myself a break and take it slow. If I have to I will take it one minute at a time but I will take it. God is in control and I am living his will. I am not dwelling on the past and I am not thinking about the future. Living in the now.
Thank you for reading today’s blog.
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Peace and Blessings.