72 DAYS CLEAN
Do we understand that we have no real control over drugs?
Basic Text, p. 18
Just for today: I will take all the action necessary to practice the First Step. I truly believe it applies to me.
Hello and God Bless You.
In answer to the question at the top of the page. Yes I do. I understand it so much that I was not feeling good yesterday and I did not want to take anything. Eventually I took a tylenol and drank some Emergen C. But I am truly scared to take medicine because I have such an addictive personality.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am powerless or that my life had become unmanageable. If I decided to pick up I would not be able to stop. Opening that door would lead to unspeakable damage to myself and everyone around me. I would be lost in the grips doomed to the pain and misery that my addiction always causes. So I know that the first step applies to me.
I also know that if I do not continue to apply what I know and pray and have faith and work my steps and stay connected by making meetings, calling my sponsor and my network and visiting my online communities and sharing my pain I know all to well what will happen. I have been there, relapse is a part of my past and I do not wish for it to be a part of my future.
I have to monitor my attitudes and behaviors for I suffer from CRS Can’t Remember Shit. I seem to be able to forget very fast all the pain I went through. I am grateful today for having a loving God in my life to help guide me in this process. I am a work in progress today and I am grateful that its progress and not regress.
Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
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Peace and Blessings.