Just for today: I have been promised freedom from active addiction. The gifts I receive are the benefits of recovery
Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise, and that is freedom from active addiction…
Basic Text, p. 106
Hello and God Bless You.
FREEDOM from active addiction.
If you would have told me last year this time that I could be free from my active addiction I would have told you it was impossible. I used to think that I had it so bad that I could never stop. I was a firm believer in once and addict always an addict. I knew I was gonna die an addict but back then you couldn’t tell me I was a addict. I was just gonna die getting high. I used to say Imma get high till the day that I die. That was a rhyme I wrote. I even tagged it a couple of times too. Ohh I never told you guys that I used to be a graffiti artist. I used to creep in the tunnels and train yards spray painting trains and just about everything else.Oh boy that goes back to before I ever touched the hard stuff. That was back when getting high was fun. Yes I said it getting high USED to be fun.Then it became a fucking nightmare that I could not escape from. That is until I came to believe and started making meetings and sharing about my hurt, pain, joy, sorrow and anything else that’s on my mind.
I am truly thankful to Narcotics Anonymous because I can honestly say that I learned how to get in touch with my Higher Power God. I am also learning about my disease and I am getting in touch with feelings and learning how to identify them. I am also becoming more honest (becoming, this shit aint easy) I was a liar before I even started using so it will take some time but I am learning and working on it. I have changed so much in the past 2 months it amazes me. I have not used a mind or mood altering substance in 63 days. I am so proud of myself. I know that I am still very young and I am a new comer but I can say this with confidence that just for today I have been freed from the impulsive thinking and compulsive actions. I have no desire to use anything and it feels great.
Now I didn’t just get to this point magically. It took some slips and bumps on the head and a whole lot of ass kicking from my sponsor and home group. Unconditional Ass Kicking. I love my network for all the help they gave this hard headed, know it all, you can’t tell me nothing, Im gonna do it my way addict..Lol. whoo hooo. My way..that’s a joke. I found that out the hard way. My way does not work. So I had to take the suggestions and start a new way of life. I have to do what others before me are doing and I finally gave in and started doing it. I am doing it right now and I continue to do it everyday. I no longer live my will, I live by my higher powers will for me. I am a brand new person today and continue to grow everyday.
I am truly a miracle. I am truly happy with how my life is going right now and I be damn if I am going to jeopardize that for anything. I will do what it takes, I have to if I don’t I will die.
FREEDOM AIN’T FREE
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Peace and Blessings