FEAR VS. FAITH


 58 DAYS CLEAN

Just for today: I will rely on the care of my Higher Power to relieve my fear of life.

We grow to feel comfortable with our Higher Power as a source of strength. As we learn to trust this Power, we begin to overcome our fear of life.

Basic Text, p. 25

Hello and God Bless You.

*FEAR*
FUCK. EVERYTHING. AND. RUN.

OR

FACE. EVERYTHING. AND. RECOVER.

Well if you were like me you chose to run. All my life I have lived with fear of one thing or another. I remember when I was young I was a little cry baby. I was a scaredy cat. You know what let’s call it what it is. I was a punk. I used to get picked on sometimes just because I didn’t want to fight. I was scared to talk to girls and was made fun of because of that. I also remember crawling into my shell so to speak. I learned isolation at a early age. As I got older and I was drinking more regular my fears changed. I was no longer afraid of fighting or girls in my teenage years. I was afraid of not being liked so I did things to fit in. Always wanting to be liked, to fit in and I did what older people were doing. Needless to say that was the beginning of my self destruction.

I remember that my self esteem was never really all that great so when ever it was time to do something new or take a test or interview for a job I would always think negatively. Sabotage any and everything before it got off the ground. If I didn’t sabotage it before hand I would Fuck it up somewhere down the line. I have been destroying my life in so many ways and have ran from advancement so many times I can’t even count. So you see that Fuck Everything And Run was my motto for years.

Today I look at life differently. I look at each day as an opportunity to move forward. I have a higher power at work in my life and I believe in myself. With that combination and making meetings, doing step work and reading the literature I am beginning to learn so much about myself and my disease. Today my motto is Face Everything And Recover. I am no longer afraid to do things. I read that fear is a lack of faith so whenever I feel fear trying to disrupt my progress I give it up to God. My faith in my HP is growing day by day and so am I. I am changing for the better and not only can I see it, but I can feel it.

AND IT FEELS GOOD!

I no longer run from. Today I run to. Thanks to my belief in a power greater than myself.

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.

As always feel free to comment below, join my blog or sign up for email notifications.

Peace and Blessings.

NAM

4 thoughts on “FEAR VS. FAITH

  1. Hey Amy I am sorry for taking so long to respond to your post. My name is Eric and Nam. I prefer to be called Nam. I am happy to hear that you no longer have a fear of doing things and that you will incorporate the motto to create a defense to redirect your focus. Thank you as always for your comments. (((AMY))) Have a fantastic day.

    Like

  2. I've been calling you Eric…I am sorry if that is wrong. After reading your ESH story, I realized you said your name is NAM. (((((((NAM))))))
    Today is Monday, January 16, 2012 1:22am here…that means you have 59 days!!! GOD BLESS you and keep you through out the day : ) “Today my motto is Face Everything And Recover. I am no longer afraid to do things.” I absolutely love your motto! With PTSD still being a stalker in my mind and emotions, I will take on your motto and begin to create the defense that allows me to pause and re-direct my focus.
    LQQK'n forward to the next blog.
    Prayers and Blessings for YOU!!!
    Amy N.

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