I admit that I am powerless over my addiction. I will surrender to win.
Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat.
Basic Text, p. 22
Hello and God Bless You.
First let me start off by apologizing due to some technical difficulties with my blog host yesterdays blog got deleted. I wish I had a back up but unfortunately I do not.
I have been sharing in my group this past week how I have been cheating myself out of my recovery by not giving my all. 2010 was my first time taking getting clean seriously and I now realize that I wasn’t as serious about it as I would have everyone think. I say that because I have been half stepping and not putting my recovery first. Then when I relapsed (3 X) I blamed everybody and everything except myself. I have come to the realization that my addiction had me thinking that I was doing what was necessary. When in fact I was picking and choosing what to be Honest, Open minded and Willing about. I was fronting and didn’t recognize the baffling, cunning bastard we all know as addiction was still very active even though I was not using. YET. Eventuality addiction got me back. Like I mentioned. 3 relapses.
Having had a Spiritual Awakening and trusting my HP/God. I have come to realize this and have been working extra hard to not let that happen again. As with all mistakes you can either learn from them or continue to bump your big head. I choose to learn from my mistake, correct it, grow and move on.
I have faith that God will help me through the good and the bad times and I am willing to turn it over to God for that is his will. I have totally surrendered. I have no control over anything that happens to me only have control over how I respond to the things that happen. Today I choose to take a step back. Think and pray. I will not react and then regret. I am becoming more honest with everyday that passes. I am growing and getting to know myself like never before. God is Great and through him everything is possible. I am so grateful that I am becoming more spiritual. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can only say that is due to the grace of God.
Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
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Peace and Blessings.