51 DAYS CLEAN
Just for today:
The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority. Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth.
Basic Text, p. 44
Hello and God Bless You.
Today I awoke and I wasn’t feeling to good, I say that because of a conversation that happened before I went to bed last night. Not to go into the conversation but I went to bed feeling a bit angry and wanted to be confrontational. I wasn’t looking at the big picture. I was only thinking about myself. As I laid there tossing and turning I prayed to God to help me to release it. I really didn’t think that I did anything wrong and took no responsibility for it at all. I only justified my actions.
When I awoke I was still thinking about it, but this time I was thinking about the part I played in it. I took a look at the whole situation and came to the conclusion that I was wrong. Without even realizing it I was being totally self centered. I was promoting myself and feeding my ego. I also realized that I have a need for approval and acceptance. I have a need to be liked. When people start to pay attention to me or something I am doing I feed off of that and the ego gets out of control.
I can say all day that I realized it, but remember before I went to bed I prayed about it. So God let it simmer to give me enough time to realize that I was wrong. WOW. That’s Powerful. That’s God going to work in my life. You don’t understand. A year ago I wouldn’t have been able to let it go. I would’ve made matters worse and burned another bridge. Instead I was able to receive Gods message and work toward rectifying the situation. I was afforded the opportunity to see the part I played instead of ignoring my part. I never meant anyone any harm and I was able to express that to the individual. I apologized for my wrong and assured them that it would not happen again.
This past year has been truly amazing. I have grown so much that I sometimes wonder who I am. Is this an invasion of the body snatchers type thing. Lol. I am happy with this new attitude and new way of life. Even though there are times that the old attitude shows up, today I take a breath and pray for guidance. I am changing right before my very eyes and its a wonderful feeling. I truly believe what is said in the rooms about the feeling shall pass. If I step back and look at the big picture I will know how to respond appropriately. God is Great.
Today I will work on my self centeredness.
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Peace and Blessings.
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