Just for today: I dont have all the answers, but I know where to find the ones that matter. Today, I will ask another addict, How does it work?
I used to think that I had all the answers, but today I am glad that I dont.
Hello and God Bless You.
I read Just for Today and it sparked something in me. I remember when I was using how I used to hate for someone to tell me something. In fact I hated for you to tell me anything. I always had to be a know it all. Or at least I thought I knew it all. In reality I am a know nothing. I had a PHD in Crackology and even that was suspect but you couldn’t tell me that. I would be ready to go head up with you.
I was the great I AM. Little did I know that following the I AM was a host of negative adjectives like I Am a fool, idiot, asshole etc. You get the picture no need to keep going right. Lol. Now that I am clean and beginning to live Gods will for me and not my own will a lot of things are starting to become clear. I realize that everything I thought I knew was wrong. I realize that I have been acting a fool for a very long time. But I wasn’t acting. The things that I’ve done in active addiction were dangerous, stupid, risky, again I could go on but you get the picture right. To say that I am blessed to have survived to be writing this blog after 35 years of insanity is an understatement.
No it was not just a blessing.. It’s Devine Intervention.
I’m no fool I know God deserves all the praise on that one. But in my active addiction you couldn’t tell me that. Nah it was all me. Because I was the man. You ain’t know. Lol yeah right. Thanks to God, I am finally beginning to understand that I am not in control. I have no control and I do not control others. I am learning to let go and give it to God. I am learning to get the hell out of the way and let God do the driving.
FINALLY I AM LEARNING.
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