Just for today: I have found a new way to live. Today, I will seek to serve others with love and to love myself.
Hello and God Bless.
Well its holiday time once again and although I am clean I am starting to feel a little depressed. The holidays have been a point of misery for me for the past 15+ years mainly because of my addiction.
Honestly speaking I miss using. The holidays were always party time in my house. In the beginning it was fun, as my addiction progressed and I isolated I was missing from the holiday festivities. I made myself so distant from my family that now that I am a little clean I’m feeling lonely. I feel abandoned. Funny thing is I’m the one who abandoned them. I made it my business to stay away from my family because of the embarrassment I felt at being an addict. Although at the time you couldn’t tell me I was an addict, I now know why I stayed away. As a result of my isolation I have become a non-member of my own family. I spent Thanksgiving at a marathon meeting and will probably do the same for Christmas. I am not totally in the BAH HUMBUG mood but I certainly do not feel the Christmas spirit. I hope and pray that after I make it through the holiday that things become better and next Christmas I wont be alone again.
Its really depressing not having anyone to spend the holidays with. Or even worse having someone but not being around them. I will pray to God for strength and courage this holiday season. I know that through God all things are possible. I don’t want to make anyone depressed with my holiday blues so I will keep this short. I will share about it in a meeting later on today.
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Peace and Blessings.