31 DAYS CLEAN
Good morning. Be kind.. For everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle than you may think. God is Love
Just for today: I will share the world with others, knowing they are just as important as I am. I will nourish my spirit by giving of myself.
Hello and God Bless.
Thank you for all the get well wishes. I am feeling almost 100% today.
Today I am going to talk about resentments in my life. I have always been the kind of person to hold a grudge. For some reason or another I am unable to forget things that are done to me. I know they say that you should forgive people for past hurts but I am having a difficult time letting go. As far back as I can remember I have had this problem. I can hold a grudge, stay angry and not speak to a person ever again. Also I have resentment towards past failures and about not having any children. That’s a big one that has really been a thorn in my side lately because it reminds me of how lonely I am. As a result of this defect I have not spoken to family members and old friends in years. I also feel this has played a major part in why I am having such a struggle with my recovery.
I have heard that resentment is a form of a reservation. I don’t understand that. I am going to speak
about this in my meeting today but I am also asking for feedback from everybody. I am learning the recovery process and of course there are going to be things I don’t understand. So on this I am asking for help. I do not know much about resentments either but I do know that the anger can keep me from growing. (*_*) Well I think I just answered my own question. Resentments keep me from growing and if I am not growing and changing then I remain the same and the same anger can lead me back to using..DUH. It’s amazing how things can become clear when you are writing. That’s why I love writing my blog everyday. I begin to make connections and start to understand myself a little better when I put my thoughts and feelings into words. With all the noise in my head pulling the thoughts out and writing them down helps quiet the mind and I can think just a little more clearly.
I still need more info so feedback is still wanted. I need to know how to let go? How do I forgive others as well as myself. Yes I need to learn how to forgive myself for all the pain that I caused myself and others too. Forgiveness is a 2 way street and I am at a loss as to how to go about it. I will speak with my sponsor about this and my network too. Now since you guys reading this are a part of my network I hope someone will comment on this subject. I need all the help I can get. Now I am not talking about making amends. I am speaking on seeking forgiveness within myself towards others and forgiving myself. How did you begin to forgive? I ask God for forgiveness everyday. I will start to pray for the power and courage to forgive as well and the power to let go of my resentments.
Well those are the thoughts and feelings for now. Lol
Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
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Peace and Blessings.