25 DAYS CLEAN
Just for today: Addiction is not a simple disease, but it has a simple solution. Today, I will live in that solution: the Twelve Steps of recovery.
WOW. Today has been a roller coaster ride for me. I have been battling thoughts of using all day. The crazy part is I made 2 meetings today and the thoughts still popped into my head. I am being taunted by my thoughts and voices of my addiction telling me the usual bullshit. You can do just one, nobody will know, you can control your using, they (NA) don’t know what they are talking about.
Shhhhhh be quiet because you (addictive thoughts) don’t know what you are talking about!
I KNOW I CAN’T DO JUST ONE.
I WILL KNOW.
I CANNOT CONTROL MY USING.
THEY DO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
I know today that its not unusual for an addict to want to use. I am learning today how to cope with those thoughts. I wasn’t so fortunate the last couple of times. I mean I knew what to do, but I didn’t do it and the end result was paranoia, isolation, feelings of guilt and embarrassment about relapsing. Not this time. I prayed to God/my HP. I shared about it. I called people and I spoke one on one with older members and I feel a lot better. I am home safe and I am still not finished. I am logged on to ITR and 12 Step Planet. I shall share here too. I will call my sponsor and text with my network as well.
Today I choose to use.
USE MY TOOLS.
I am noticing so much change in me today and I am loving it. I am being more responsible than ever before when it comes to staying clean. I am learning and it feels great.
I have God and everyone in my recovery life to thank. It’s not a ME thing its a WE thing. I also learned that in NA and I am practicing it in my life today.
Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
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Enjoy your day
PEACE AND BLESSING