DRUG DREAMS


19 DAYS CLEAN

Good morning I am grateful to be alive and clean today.

I’m sure everyone can relate to what I am about to talk about today. Since I stopped using I have been having drug dreams. Some of them are short lived, then there are others that are long drawn out, very visual and seem real. So real that I wake up in a sweat and I am not sure where I am. I know that its normal to have them but they still scare me because they seem so real. I have been having them off and on for the last 3 weeks and as a result I am not sleeping well. I am tired all day and it is starting to disrupt my thinking patterns. I’m having trouble concentrating and I am beginning to notice negative behaviors returning as a result. I am trying very hard to keep the focus on the here and now but it is becoming increasingly difficult as days go by.

OBSESSION & COMPULSION

I have been praying extra hard to God to help me defeat this enemy and to give me courage and strength. I have faith that this too shall pass, but I have to share this. I have been wanting to use as a result of these dreams. It’s almost like I can taste it and smell it. My stomach has been doing summersalts lately and on top of that my disease is trying to take advantage of this moment of weakness. I hear the negative voice telling me to go ahead you can do one, nobody will know. Ugghhhh. How many times have I heard that one. I have been a victim of that voice too many times and I know better today. I know that I have no control over drugs and although I am 19 days clean my life is still unmanageable. The disease wants me to think that I can control this and to be dishonest about it. I have been there and done that before and the results of that dishonesty is I’m back 19 days. So I’m learning not to act off the obsession and becoming compulsive and totally out of control.

I have a proven track record of past failures believing the bullshit that my negative thoughts try to tell me. I don’t wish to make those same mistakes again. So today I take steps to avoid that trap. I share these feelings in meetings, with my sponsor, with my network and right here on my blog. I am grateful for all of these different outlets today. I know that keeping quiet is deadly so I expose my monster.

Thank you for reading today’s blog post.
Have a safe and blessed day.

Peace and Blessings.

4 thoughts on “DRUG DREAMS

  1. Thank you for your comment. Yes the cravings sometimes try to overwhelm us. Addictions may vary but we can all relate on way or another.. One day one step at a time and we can and will be ok.

    Peace and Blessings

    Nam.

    Like

  2. Hi Nam, I related to a lot of what you wrote in this post. You have your addiction, I have mine. We have chosen different substances but the addictions effects remain the same. I dream about the effects of my chosen substance. And sometimes cravings come over me, and I can almost taste.. in my case bacon and eggs, or cake or some 'food' that I've sworn off. I'm not even going near the other addiction, ciggarettes.. until my eating disorder is in good sober remission. One Step at a Time. Peace and Love and Light, Shanti Trish

    Like

  3. Thank you Amy, for your words of encouragement and advice. I really appreciate your comment. I thank God everyday for everything that happens good, bad or indifferent. I am glad that you like my blog and will continue to post my feelings and thoughts everyday. Thank you again. Stay Blessed Amy. Nam

    Like

  4. Thanks so much for sharing, Eric. The dreams are GOD's business and you can cast each dream, detail, smell, taste, etc. on Christ JESUS, because He took them all on the cross for ya : )
    Lift up His Holy name, (Even tho I am experiencing these horrible dreams and symptoms and temptations, I lift your HOLY Name LORD JESUS and give You all the praise for being my physician at this time that I am ill and needing all Your protection for my spirit, soul, mind and body to stay in Sobriety and Recovery) I really appreciate you, Eric!!! GOD's BLESSINGS and Miracles and Help in every way surround you and minister to you and meet your every need, In JESUS Precious, Mighty Name : ) Today is for His Best for You and Me!
    Amy N

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s