I thank God for waking me up clean this morning. I am so grateful that I am not chasing the next hit today. I have God, my sponsor, my home group, my network and myself to thank. I added myself because I am responsible for my recovery. Everyone I just mentioned helped me tremendously in one way or another and I am truly thankful, but it wouldn’t help a bit if I was close minded, dishonest and not willing to do what is necessary to stay clean. I am a new person today and am taking the suggestions that I receive today and utilizing all the tools available to me. I am willing to try some new things and replace the old things so I can grow. I show up to grow up.
God gives me strength and courage. He gives me the power to move out of my own way so I can do his will. I talk to God all day and he quiets the noise long enough so that I can hear his answers. It is a soothing feeling to finally be able to let go. I still have my moments when I want to take my will and do what I want, but I am somewhat able to squash those thoughts before it becomes an obsession. I am still a long way off, but I am getting better and my faith is growing everyday. Thank you God. I love you.
My sponsor never lost faith in me. He did not give up and let me die the slow death of a addict. He called me, he listened to me and he gave me advice. He told me to just come back and that the home group missed me and he and the home group loved me. My sponsor is the best and I thank God for him. He saved my life. I am truly grateful to have such a knowledgeable, caring and responsible sponsor. His guidance is priceless. Thank you anonymous sponsor for all your support.
MY HOME GROUP
I love my home group. There is no better group of people in the world in my opinion. They have been there for me from the beginning. The support and unconditional love I receive in that group is indescribable. They always made me feel like I was a part of, from the very beginning and even after my relapses. There has been no judgement, no negative comments nothing but love. I am grateful to my home group too because if things were different who knows I probably would be out there wasting away right now. Thank you Home Group for all the support.
I am thankful to all the people who I have met in the rooms and online. But there are a few very special people that I am truly grateful for. I have made them my network of networks. We talk everyday, make meetings together when we can (I say when we can because of job scheduling). We lookout for each other. I am still getting used to dialing and not filing but with their help it is getting easier to pick up the phone and call. I love my network. And a special I love you to Moca..You know you are my main running buddy. Thank you my network for all your support.
You know if you would have seen me 3 weeks ago and then seen me today you wouldn’t believe how much I’ve changed. I can hardly believe it, but I have changed and its all due to everyone that I acknowledged in today’s post including myself. I am proud of the work that I am doing and all the help I have received. NA has been a life saver to many before me and now its saving my life. I don’t know what I would have done if not for the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, my higher power which I choose to call God, my sponsor, my network and my willingness to change. I know I have a long way to go and a lot of work to do but I am ready. A new chapter is being written in my life and it is long over due. I am finally turning the page an it feels great.
Thank you for reading today’s blog post. I wish everyone a happy, healthy and safe weekend.
Peace and blessings.