I just want to say that this week was really great. I was worried that because I just came back from a relapse (my new clean date is November 19, 2011)that I would not be able to stay clean for Thanksgiving. I was off from work on Tues, Wed and Thurs. and really didn’t think I could do it. I wanted to stay clean but doubted myself do to past history. Well first and foremost I have to say that my higher power GOD had a different plan, by doing his will and not mines I made meetings all day Tuesday and Wednesday by going all over the city and thanks to NA Thursday was the Gratitude marathon so I was able to stay in one spot and have meetings all day. I have to share my gratitude for the fellowship. I finally have the belief in God and in myself. I am becoming much more spiritual as each day goes by. I have a new outlook and truly believe that I can do this. I am telling myself positive things instead of talking negative and I am not allowing any negative thoughts to control my actions.

I am about to get off from work and I just finished talking to my sponsor and another recovering addict. I had to call someone because this is Friday and its a normal get high day. I am not feeling like getting high, but in past experience it can pop up on me in a split second. I am keeping track of my feelings and am becoming more aware of attitudes an behaviors. I am making notes on triggers that I already know and new ones when they appear. And believe me after using for 30+ years they appear out of thin air. I am using the tools more than ever and using the phone is something that I wouldn’t do before so I am breaking old patterns as well. I am learning myself and how to survive one day at a time. I will keep you posted everyday because that is what I use this for. This is also a tool for recovery for me.

I Just wanted to share that today. Thanks for letting me share.

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