Good afternoon, First and foremost I thank God for waking me up and allowing me to see another day. I pray for knowledge, wisdom and guidance in my daily journey.
Today is my day off from work and I am home watching tv. I know that I should be doing something more recovery related so I decided to read some literature and log in to my recovery websites. I made a decision to get my life on track. I am tired of the insanity so its time to put in the work. I haven’t been to a meeting in weeks but I plan on going to my home group tomorrow.
I know that meetings are going to be a very important part of my recovery so its time to start making them again. I have been putting it off for 3 weeks enough is enough.
I am truly grateful to my sponsor. He helps me when I am unable to help myself, he hasn’t given up on me although I gave up on myself. That has always been my problem. When things get tough I give up. That is a bad habit that I am determined to break. It has been the main reason for my relapses and I have to figure out why and break the cycle. I am not getting any younger so there is no time like the present.
Procrastination is another bad habit that I need to work on. I put things off (making a meeting 3 weeks) and before I know it a month or two goes by, or my bills are past due. That’s just 2 examples I could go on but you get the picture. I have to maintain a steady schedule and form new good habits to replace the old bad ones. I am not going to over do it though. I don’t want to overwhelm myself and then quit. I know that, that can and will happen. I have to remember also to take life 1 day or even 1 minute at a time or I am doomed to repeat.
Time for change is now. The more I think about it the more I want to do it. The holidays are just around the corner and I don’t want to miss them again. I haven’t spent time with my family on Thanksgiving and Christmas in a very long time. I just want to be regular. Do what normal people do. I’ve been a ghost for too long.

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